Selfishness

I finished reading The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People the other day and was sent to a workshop on the same subject by my company; it turned out to be one of the most amazing experiences of my life.

As part of the workshop, we've had to have our peers fill out a survey about us, answering several questions like "Puts the organization's needs before his own interests" with anything from "highly disagree" to "highly agree". When I opened the result package, I was happy to know that I was perceived as a well rounded individual. But there seemed to be one guy that was out to get me... Interpreting the results, which were anonymous, he seemed to think that I was selfish, putting my own interests first and not being very helpful.

I had to think about that one, because I *am* selfish, and on purpose!

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I discovered selfishness when I read Atlas Shrugged, written by Ayn Rand in the 1950s. In her novels and essays, she explains that selfishness is a virtue where one is concerned with one's own interests and seeks to guard his or her happiness in order to lead a healthy, purposeful and fulfilling life. You cannot do so, however, at the expense of other people's well-being, or you'd simply be like one of those brutish people who are oblivious to the negative consequences of their actions. We live in a social world, whether we like it or not, and just like in the 7 Habits, Ayn Rand suggests maximizing the value of our interactions with others by cultivating a commitment to the virtues of rationality, justice, productiveness and benevolence. If practiced with selfishness, these virtues will prevent us from becoming egoistical in the sense that most people know the word.

What I like about Ayn Rand's philosophy is that when you are selfish you are validated from within by your own values. When you are altruist and only live for others, then you are validated by how others think and feel about you. This is a very important message conveyed in the 7 Habits, specifically in habit 2: begin with the end in mind.

Again, it is important to stress out that being selfish does not mean you ONLY think about yourself, but that you strive to guard your own well-being and happiness and maintaining your social network is an essential step in doing that. I might help you because I simply feel like it, or because you are a friend. It isn't a chore to help because I care about you. However, I know deep inside that I stand to gain from being helpful, but does that make the act less virtuous?

Of course not! It is a win-win situation, something that we all should strive for.

How can one try to achieve synergy, or a total, trustful cooperation with someone else, without both think about their own well-being as well as the other person's? You have to care about others in order to achieve what is best for you! You have to have good will toward others or it just won't work.

One underlying principle to the 7 Habits of Highly Effective People is that we live in a world of abundance instead of one of scarcity. In such a world, there is enough for all of us and your successes doesn't prevent mine and thus should not threaten me. I know that when I help you achieve your goals, you will help me achieve mine, so long as I never give up on my own goals and do not make altruism my sole mission in life.

It is very hard to talk about selfishness in a positive way because of how the word has been ingrained in our minds. We are used to hearing it said about people who will stomp on others to get what they want without regards to their feelings. The virtue of selfishness, however, is when we try to guard our own well-being and happiness with regard of other people's well-being.

It is in this sense that selfishness is one of my virtues, one of the basic principles upon which I'm building my life.