I’ve just finished reading Never Eat Alone, a great book written by Keith Ferrazzi about networking and connecting with other people. I feel somewhat inadequate in this respect and I hoped I could gain a few good pointers from such a book. And I did! Living in the deep south of the Texas plains, I definitely need to grok networking to get further with my career.
The book was overall very useful. It is filled with techniques and examples of people who have successfully used them.
This is my attempt are summarizing the book.
mind set
You need to want to become a member of the club, somehow. Don’t be afraid! You want to hang out with the top dogs. In the end, who you hang out with kinda dictates who you are. Don’t keep score, be out there and help without asking for anything in return.
What is your mission? Write down your goals. It has been shown that you are more likely to achieve them if you write them down. Ferrazzi suggests detailing where you plan to be three months, six months, a year and three years from now.
You also need to build the network before you need it. This thing takes time! You need to have helped before you can be helped. So get out there and be audacious. Get in front of people and don’t be afraid to try and meet who you admire. CEOs and gurus are people just like you and I. As far as I know, they haven’t found a way to reach godhood, yet… But be careful not to be that networking jerk who tails people at conferences just because they said hi. Don’t hand out business cards without having first established a meaningful contact.
the skill set
Do your homework. Research who you want to meet and find out what they like, where they hang out and with whom, and where you’re more likely to “bump” into them. This isn’t cheating. You did it for your girlfriend or boyfriend, didn’t you? Why should it be different for IBM’s CEO?
Whoever you meet, take their names and note it down. These people will be useful later. You’re expanding your network and everybody is worthwhile to know. Remember, you’re not out to abuse your network, you’re also there for them. One of these people will probably be the key to getting connected to somebody more important. They can be referrals that you can use when cold calling your idols, which makes it not-so-cold anymore.
Speaking of cold calling, befriend the secretary or personal assistant. They can become powerful allies. Did you know they can actually influence the person you’re trying to reach? Yeah. They can.
Take your people out to lunch, share your passions. Keep developing the relationship and strengthening the bond. Invite somebody else you know to your lunch and be a connector yourself! And when you meet new people, follow up before they forget about you. A gentle reminder of a meeting in an email, simply saying thanks for a great time or just saying hi will work. You want them to remember your name the next time you talk to them.
Be a conference commando. Go to conferences to network. Research who will be there and plan on “bumping” into them. Learn who is organizing the whole thing and volunteer to help out. You’ll meet a lot of people that way in addition of getting a heads-up on who’s coming. Also, try to be a speaker.
Connect with connectors and marvel at the power of crossing the streams. I don’t care what you learned in Ghostbusters, crossing the streams is a good thing when mixing networks together. But there are rules. Don’t give away your entire network all at once, because the other won’t. And don’t make your connector friend look bad with their network.
Always work towards expanding your circle. Find ways to meet new people at all times. Master the art of small talk, which can be hard. Try listening to local talk radio. You'll have some stuff to talk about. It also help if you know what the other person is into.
turning connections into compatriots
Health, wealth, and children. Those are the three things people really care about. If you can help somebody with any of those, you’ve just made a friend for life. Can you get that guy’s kids into the best college in town? He’ll be forever grateful. Or did you refer that gal’s daughter for a very coveted position that just opened up in your organization?
Connect people together. If you meet someone who needs something and know a friend who can provide it, please connect them. Learn more about arbitrage here.
Ping your contacts constantly. You don’t want them to forget you. Depending on how close they are to you, ping them monthly, semi-annually or annually. When you travel to their area, give them a call. Try to meet face-to-face.
Organize diner parties and invite anchor tenants: people with certain influence that keep coming to your parties. Almost by magic, other people will want to be there too.
trading up and giving back
Be interesting and build your brand. You have something to say and shouldn’t keep it to yourself. Form opinions, ideas, philosophies. Don’t be average. Stand out! Then broadcast your brand. Shout it out. Blog it, write guest columns, talk in conferences.
Get close to power by meeting assistants or people close to who you really want to meet. In gatherings, the important people will typically be extremely busy, while their aids will stand idle. Meet the aids! Again, we are not out to use them. We really want to know them.
Build a network that people will want to join, but don’t become arrogant or you’ll kill the golden goose. Find mentors who can teach you and mentees who will learn from you.
Finally, welcome to the connected age! Use LinkedIn, Twitter, blogs, FaceBook, Plaxo, etc. Connect!